As a Vanderpump Rules certified superfan, I'm beside myself
The Scandoval of the century.
I will die on the hill that Vanderpump Rules is the best reality show ever made.
It beats every Housewives franchise, every episode of my beloved Kardashians, makes Southern Charm look like an hour of paint drying every week and just simply went above and beyond everything I thought a show could be.
There’s a great formula that’s made this show more incredible than the rest. Allow me to break it down:
From season one until now, the cast members are desperate to become famous in any capacity. Because of this, they will lie, cheat and sacrifice themselves in any way to get to the top.
They unfortunately don’t have the expendable funds that people like the Housewives and Kardashians have. They live in normal apartments, are always worried about money and have no reason to act better than everyone, yet they still do.
They’ve literally all hooked up and dated each other.
If you’ve watched, you understand. Scheana Shay will never be a singer, Jax Taylor will never be a model, Tom Sandoval will never be an actor, but God, will they deliver an absolute dumpster fire of amazing drama for ten years straight.
Speak of the devil, Tom Sandoval has brought us the biggest scandal (also known as a Scandoval by none other than Andy Cohen) known to the VPR universe. Bigger than something we ever thought possible.
Allow me to once again break down what has happened for those unfamiliar:
Tom Sandoval (OG cast) was dating Kristen Doute (OG cast), for 5+ years. They lived together, fought all of the time and ultimately hated each other.
Tom Sandoval was best friends with bartender, Ariana Maddox. They claimed nothing had ever happened, driving Kristen insane. However it was later, finally revealed that Tom and Ariana made out in a pool in Vegas while he was dating Kristen.
It comes out that Kristen and Jax Taylor (OG cast, Tom’s best friend) had hooked up multiple times, resulting in Jax cheating on his girlfriend, Stassi (OG cast, superstar, Kristen’s best friend) and Kristen cheating on Tom, something that had been denied all season, also resulting in a physical confrontation between BOTH Stassi and Kristen, and Jax and Tom.
Tom and Ariana begin a relationship.
Later on, we meet DJ James Kennedy, who was going to be Tom’s roommate, however, starts dating Kristen, resulting in Tom and DJ James Kennedy only being friends, not roommates. James (23 and heterosexual) moves in with a 40-year-old man into a 1 bedroom apartment.
James and Kristen have the worst relationship ever.
James and Kristen break up.
James starts dating a beauty pageant contestant named Rachel, who goes by Raquel and starts working at SUR, the restaurant which serves as the focal point of the show.
Ariana is the only girl that is true friends with Raquel and stands up for her while Raquel is at odds with LaLa Kent (season 4), who famously calls Raquel a “Bambi-eyed bitch” because she believes Raquel to be dumb. Both in general, but mainly for not believing the girls who say James has slept with them while Raquel was away.
James and Raquel date for five years, get engaged, but ultimately end up breaking up due to James cheating on her with every female at SUR while Raquel was at college, as well as James’ substance abuse issues.
James gets a new girlfriend and Raquel begins her “single girl era” with Katie Maloney (OG cast), LaLa, and becomes best friends with popstar Scheana Shay (OG cast).
A rumor is spread that Raquel hooked up with Katie Maloney’s ex husband, Tom Schwartz (OG cast, best friends with Jax, best friends and business partner with Tom Sandoval) at Coachella. The rumor is unfounded, however she is interested in Schwartz, thus embarking on the plot line of season ten, which is will Raquel or Tom Schwartz hook up, or will they respect Katie.
This is where we are until about Thursday night.
On Thursday, March 2nd, 2023, we find out that Raquel Leviss and Tom Sandoval have been engrossed in an affair for months. They have been hooking up behind Ariana’s back, in the middle of the night while she was in the home, have matching necklaces and an explicit text thread that dates back to nearly six months ago according to the most recent updates.
Until now, Tom and Ariana have been in a relationship for nine years. They bought a home together, published a book together, went on tour together and have been widely considered as the sturdiest relationship on a show where relationships are nothing but turbulent. Ariana has been one of Raquel’s only friends, Tom is James’ closest friend arguably, not to mention also, Raquel has been trying to hook up with Tom’s best friend and business partner, Tom Schwartz, for weeks on the show currently.
There are more layers to this situation than an onion. Tom has always had a holier-than-thou attitude on the show, starting with Stassi in season one, then moving to Jax and now more recently with LaLa. He acts better than everyone else despite coming of entirely entitled and tone deaf.
Ariana has been nothing but supportive for nine years. Despite also slightly having a better-than attitude, she’s truly a great friend, has opened up about her struggle with depression and sexuality, and in my opinion, anyone who can stand proudly by a man who is so awful at singing and playing the trumpet, but chooses to do so publicly, deserves a purple heart.
AND after ALL of this, Tom still betrayed her in the affair of the century.
It’ll be extremely interesting to see how this all plays out. Bravo picked the cameras back up and started filming what was already a wrapped season, ordering at least one more episode of Vanderpump Rules to be added onto the end of season ten. Lisa Vanderpump is appearing on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen on Wednesday as the sole guest and Scheana Shay is recording a sure to be groundbreaking podcast episode with Kristen Doute and LaLa Kent.
Andy has already said he’s gearing up for what’s going to be the reunion of the century. All I can say is that Rachel (which she shall be referred to from now on) should be thanking her lucky stars that Stassi, Kristen and Jax got removed from the show, because the annihilation of her character on that version of the reunion would be quite difficult for anyone to see, despite her actions. Part of me wishes it could happen.
It’s always unsettling to see people have zero remorse for wrongdoing. I’m afraid that once Raquel speaks out, she’ll act like she doesn’t care about what she did, that she doesn’t feel bad and is genuinely glad that she did it because it ultimately made her more famous. She already has nearly 7,000 more Instagram followers than before and has even been hired by a new PR agency.
Tom already showed zero remorse in regards to Ariana, only apologizing to the staff of his respective restaurants that will ultimately face business repercussions for his actions. He also has never been more relevant, giving an already sociopathic-esque person more reason to have zero regard.
I’ve never been more excited for an episode of The Bitch Bible with Jackie Schimmel, and I honestly feel like my love for reality television has been reinvigorated. When a scandal of this magnitude happens, akin to Erika Jayne stealing money from plane crash victims to fund her popstar alter ego, Teresa Guidice going to jail or Denise Richards and Brandi Glanville having an alleged affair, I’m reminded why I invest so much time into these people.
Nothing packs a punch like Vanderpump Rules, however. Time and time again they’ve proven that this is by far the best program on television, even ten seasons in.
Send this to someone who’s slept peacefully this weekend and hasn’t been kept awake by Tom Sandoval.
WOW