Chill pill

I suppose a spa appointment would also do.

This is the time of year where things really rev up.

I think that Halloween—Thanksgiving is much busier than Thanksgiving—Christmas, despite what I would assume to be popular opinion. It feels like everyone is doing a mad dash to finish up enjoying the fall before it’s too late, booking travel, getting a head start on sales, sending out Holiday Partifuls, reserving those dinners so you can see that tertiary friend before the year ends to say you have—all before it’s time to seriously hibernate.

I’m someone who moves fast. Everything that makes me anxious can be solved by just slowing down. It’s important this time of year for me to remember that. It’s also my favorite time of the year, so it would be a shame to miss out on it.

Here are three things I’m doing to take a beat this holiday season:

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Taking care of myself

The lob was step one here. As you all know, I get regular foot massages, manicures, pedicures, very attainable, everyday treatments. Something at least once a week. Every so often, probably 3-4 times a year, I’d recommend diving a bit deeper into your self care routine. Some personal maintenance, let’s call it.

I went to Chillhouse in Soho last week for a sculpting facial on Monday evening. You should not get a facial on a Monday evening because it sets you up for failure every other night that week. Nothing could ever be so relaxing. I’ve been a fan of Chillhouse and their founder Cyndi for a long time—ever since she appeared on Sophia Amoruso’s Girl Boss podcast in 2019:

I can remember listening to it in the student union at the University of Minnesota, where I spent a brief year before transferring to SCAD.

I consider myself a daughter of the girlboss revolution. People like Emily Weiss, Sophia Amoruso, and Cyndi Ramirez-Fulton exponentially expanded their businesses right around this time in the late 2010s, all three of them having massively successful businesses by the time this podcast came out. Amoruso, of course, is the founder of Nasty Gal and came up with the term #GirlBoss.

On a family trip to the city in the summer of 2019, I forced my mom and my sister to traverse down to Orchard Street—a part of Manhattan I had never been before—to visit the original Chillhouse location. I got nail art and an ube frozen yogurt swirl and felt like the coolest bitch in the world.

My sister and I at Chillhouse in 2019.

Their new location on Varick Street is like, four times the size of the original, and feels like a truly luxurious spa experience while still being attainable. A 50 minute massage will run you about $150, and the sculpting facial was less than $200. When they invited me in as a friend of this letter, I was shocked and extremely excited. They were incredibly generous and thoroughly relaxed me while also making me look gorgeous. I picked up a gift card for a friend’s birthday on the way out, which I would highly recommend for this season of gifting. They also have a little shop up front with their collection of press-ons that I used to wear religiously in college. Talk about the perfect stocking stuffer.

You can book an appointment at Chillhouse Soho here, or shop their site here. They’re having a sale for 35% off.

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Making myself busy (away from a screen)

Busying yourself seems like the antithesis of relaxing, but if you’re an extrovert like myself, it could actually recharge your battery if it’s the right type of activity. My friends and I went to Sake Bar Asoko this weekend for dinner, a place I’ve been wanting to try for the longest time. The food was fantastic, I caught up with some girls I haven’t seen in a while, and we even got to introduce ourselves to the owners and chat with them. This meant a lot to me since it’s a neighborhood spot of mine, and I also think speaking with the people who are the heart and soul of the place you’re eating, shopping, drinking—what have you—is a lost art. I also paid a visit to the Na Nin Studio pop-up in Williamsburg during my lunch break last week, which was filled with lovely women (dare I say girlbosses) who were in town for the week to sell luxuriously soft sweaters and a great vintage assortment. I had a lovely time talking to them and have told anyone that will listen about it. Back to Asoko—the sake was fantastic but the food is beyond. Just fantastic, out of this world. You have to get the yellowtail and the noodles if you listen to me.

You all know I also love a hobby. I’ve made an effort to try to go to pottery at least once a week since I’m paying for the membership. If you missed it, I spoke to Tayler, the owner of my pottery studio Happy Medium on last Friday’s Coffee Date:

I’m learning new skills, meeting new people, stretching muscles I’ve never used before and using a different part of my brain. The teachers in the studio are immensely helpful and it’s a community I’m excited to be a part of.

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Going easy on myself

For the past four years, I’ve been a regular at the Equinox 4-5 times a week, sometimes waking up at 6 am to go to spin or pilates before I have to be in the office, or on a Friday when I know I’ll probably be out until 3 am. TikTok played a big role in this—I was watching girls who are influencers that can create their own schedules and know no financial bounds go to Tracey Anderson at 10 AM, eat Happier Grocer, parade around Lower Manhattan all day every day and post about it. I was feeling horrible about myself for taking the time to actually sleep or run an errand instead of drive myself to exhaustion, leading to even more anxiety in a vicious cycle.

I’m a year clean of TikTok and now not such a spiteful wench, to put it plainly. I’m happy for girls like the Acquired Style Twins or Halley Kate who obviously work very hard and are reaping those benefits (washboard abs). For the last month, I’ve probably been to the gym four times. I’m walking way less because it’s cold, and I’m going out to dinner and drinking a lot. This is just the time in my life I’m in, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Sure, the price of a membership is barking at me, but at what cost is it easy to ignore?

It’s also important for me to recognize that unhappy or uncomfortable emotions are very common and just a part of life. If I’m having a bad day or I’m upset, I don’t need to compound that by being frustrated with myself for feeling that way. That’s something that’s much easier said than done, but part of me feels like writing that on the internet will be helpful in holding me accountable.

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Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I’m really excited but also can’t believe it’s here. I love the food, I love eating all day, I love spending time with people who have known me since I was five years old, I love all of the stupid hometown drama that happens on the Wednesday before. This week is something I’m greatly looking forward to, especially relaxing and taking a beat.

I was influenced to buy Blundstone clogs. I don’t have many winter pairs of shoes because I’m not a huge boot gal (it’s a personal thing). I love them, the only con is that walking in a clog is a universally difficult experience. I’m doing the best I can. I got them on Amazon so I didn’t have to wait longer than 24 hours. Here I am wearing them to visit the new Favorite Daughter store on Madison Avenue in between 84th and 85th:

I also walked away with their wool sherpa-lined bucket hat on my head. You all know I love a winter hat. They’re having a 25% off sale for Black Friday on everything. I am ALSO wearing their triangle scarf which has become an everyday piece of my wardrobe.

Speaking of Favorite Daughter, our fourth and final Coffee Date for this year’s paid subscriber gift guides is Laura, the brains behind FD’s content and the co-founder of one of my favorite things of this year—Rummiklub! Talk about a girl boss. I’m very excited for you to all read our interview.

I cannot bring myself to do a Black Friday / Cyber Monday roundup because literally every single brand ever is doing something and has been since last week. Just read through the promotions tab in your Gmail inbox. I will probably round out the holiday season in the last week of December with my own personal gift guide available to all subscribers. Doesn’t that sound lovely. Let me know if there’s a scenario you’ll need a gift for and I’ll start brainstorming now.

Today’s post was a little different than usual, but I hope you all enjoyed. Go easy on yourself. Relax. Visit Chillhouse. Get sculpted. Enjoy the moments.