Going out tops are forever
The backbone of the wardrobe.
Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve been in the pursuit of the perfect top.
A “going out top” is the backbone of the wardrobe for girls 14-40. I think perhaps even beyond 40, and I absolutely will not limit anyone during Women’s History Month. When you enter high school, you also enter the never-ending chase of finding the right shirt for every occasion for the rest of your life.
If you plan on wearing a dress, you’re marked safe. However, when you’re 15, you’d probably rather die than show up to someone’s sticky basement with a bottle of Svedka and a babydoll or mini dress. The dress code for here on out, which is the next 6-8 years of your life, is jeans and a little top.
I write this week’s letter from my bedroom at my mom’s house in Connecticut, which houses approximately 100 going out tops of my past, present, and future. In recent efforts to declutter and bring myself out of minor financial strain, I’ve sold 10 bags of clothes on ThredUp, 8 of them from these four walls. Going out tops, in case you’re not familiar, require the least amount of fabric than any other garment besides a thong or a sock. I begrudgingly sold probably 20, coming to terms with the fact that I probably would never wear something made of scuba-adjacent fabric with a metal ring in the middle ever again.
The things I used to wear before joining “the real world” were a little insane sometimes. My style has gone from basic to eccentric to contemporary (growing up in Connecticut to art school to living in the LES), and I have an archive of photos, going out tops in tow, to prove it:
Apologies to all of my friends who caught strays in that collage. You were sacrificed for the sake of storytelling.
Although I am 25 going on 26, this chase has not ended. Every girl-turned-woman realizes, around the time you graduate college, that this is actually, most likely, a lifelong endeavor. First dates, birthday parties, office gatherings, just because—all these are reasons we find ourselves in adulthood still buying a GOT (going out top).
My closet in New York has its own GOT Rolodex, ranging from college stragglers to things I’ve bought recently. Urban Outfitters and Free People has turned into Intimissimi, Cleo Camp, Paloma Wool, and The Real Real, their companions of skinny jeans with rips in the knees and patterned flare pants now trousers and jeans that have holes in the hems from dragging so low on the street. No matter how old we are, us as women are indebted to the idea that the perfect top will make the outfit complete.
Going out tops are more than just a piece of clothing. They’re the essence of eternal girlhood. My friends and I used to swap them like Pokémon Cards, begging each other to wear the one we saw them debut last weekend. This was the best in college because the dorm basically served as a trading post. My dorm was as stereotypical as it got—disgusting carpeted floors, yellow-wood lofted beds, the same wood used across our desks and cabinets, the walls cinderblock, the hallway endless rows of rectangular rooms divided by girls rooms and boys rooms. From Thursday to Sunday (and if it was a game day—forget about it), these halls were a runway for us, running back and forth from room to room to borrow a top that would complete the outfit from someone you met two weeks ago, but was now your new best friend.
Since I live alone, this exchange happens on a blue moon. When my best friends from childhood and I embarked on our trip last year to Mexico City, I was transported back to one of our high school bedrooms before a party. We were swapping bags and shoes and tops for the hour before dinner, our suitcases mixing and merging into one to the point where when we left and went home, a few of us found some stragglers that weren’t ours in our luggage. I would be lying if I said I didn’t experience slight anxiety when lending precious pieces out. As a fashion-obsessed type-A person, I must remind myself that 1+1 does equal 2. However, this was my favorite part of the trip. It was so fun to feel 16 again with the people who know me best. And what this all boiled down to, was the always important, eternal, going out top.
Now, the going out top is integral to my wardrobe in different ways. An easy after-work date or dinner only takes around 20 minutes to get ready for so long as I already have jeans on. If I toss three into my suitcase for a weekend trip, I leave with both options and room for more. If you take a closer look at Devon Lee Carlson, Olivia Jade, Lila Moss, Hailey Bieber, or anyone else who falls under the quintessential “cool girl” umbrella, you will see that the majority of their outfits on a night out revolve around the top—it’s a way to look effortlessly cool, like you don’t have to try to look chic. You’re laid back. You’re chill. You’re a chill girl. Imagine that.
Here are some of my favorite going out tops to wear now as a teenage adult woman, and some I think you should buy before I do:
Emily Dawn Long Kipling Tank (I have black)
Some sort of fun baby tee (sorry mine is one of a kind ecovi)
The rush of finally being permitted to wear one of Ashley’s freshly acquired LF tops
The basement reference!
🤣