This post is not about fashion
I actually don't mention it at all.
I’m trying to decide if I should delete TikTok. I love videos of Uncle Bob and his niece, Teagan, it gives me great cooking tips, and I’ve also recently been finding a lot of good shopping on there. On the contrary, if I see another post telling me if “he wanted to he would”, or that I need more protein in my diet, or of all the places people are traveling this summer, I might implode.
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Recently I’m being served the concept of a “dopamine menu”. If you’re unfamiliar, it’s the concept of finding little things in your everyday life that bring you joy away from your phone. These videos started to bother me because people were putting things like “dinner parties” or “vintage shopping” on their dopamine menu, which is fair, but also, duh? Everybody loves those things, right? On the contrary, being cynical hasn’t proven to make me any better (except for writing), so why not lean in.
Here are some things I’m serving on my “dopamine menu”:
Making my own coffee every morning before work
My dad got me a Nespresso and it changed my life. Every morning I look forward to the 90 seconds it takes to prepare my coffee. I’ve been loving these pods, and make an iced latte with almond milk and the brown sugar creamer from Trader Joe’s.
Flower arrangements
Some of you may recall my tenure at Terrain as a Nursery Sales Associate in 2019. My botanical skills are still sharp. The Tin Building in Seaport has the most amazing, unique assortment of stems, but it’s like $7 for one singular Petunia. Can you tell I live across the street from a Trader Joe’s now? They simply have the best flowers. See below for a few I’ve made this summer:
Citi Biking
I’M SORRY MOM. But biking around this city is simply so fun. Sometimes I bike over the bridge home from work and it makes a usually disgusting rush hour commute home much more enjoyable. It’s just annoying that it costs like $11 because I won’t be caught dead on one of those regular blue bikes.
Trixie and Katya YouTube Videos
So, dopamine menu’s aren’t really supposed to include screens, but it’s my dopamine menu and I’ll do what I want! I first discovered I Like To Watch with Trixie and Katya on the Netflix Youtube channel from my roommate, Eva, and I don’t think I’ve gone a year of getting ready for something without that playing in the background. I’ve seen the Love is Blind episodes a hundred times. I love the podcast, I love the TikToks, I paid to rent Trixie’s documentary, I’m just obsessed.
Devon Lee Carlson YouTube Videos
I used to be certifiably obsessed with YouTube in my tween heyday. I was a hardcore beauty guru watcher, then I was an Emma Chamberlain and Olivia Jade stan, and then I kind of fell off once TikTok came around. Besides Trixie and Katya, I will log onto YouTube for one girl and one girl only—DLC (Devon Lee Carlson). Besides being on my cool girl Mount Rushmore in general, I love her videos because it makes me feel like we’re on FaceTime. Devon, if you’re reading this, PLEASE POST.
Upon further journalistic investigation for this blog, I’m finding out in real time that a dopamine menu is a real therapy technique. I’ll have to fact check with mine on Monday, but now this all feels much more legitimate and like an actual tool to better myself. The other day during lunch, I did a ten minute walking meditation. I was laughing at myself, walking through Williamsburg with a god-like voice in my ears saying: With each step I let these thoughts go. With each breath, I let these thoughts go. I celebrate each step my body takes. It felt very Hannah Horvath (I made it this far without making a GIRLS reference, is that a new record?).
One of my favorite hobbies right now is aimlessly pacing around my apartment while I’m home looking for things to change or do. Last week, there was ample opportunity. I hadn’t hung a single thing up, things were still disorganized, and I bought a few new trinkets to add. Now, this mainly consists of me reordering my book piles by color, shaking up the matchbooks on my coffee table so that ones I haven’t seen in a while are on the top, and fluffing my couch before sitting right back onto it.
I’m trying to come up with more hobbies to participate in during my free time. I love having free time, but too many days alone in my apartment is when my brain begins to play pesky tricks on me. I’ve been researching writing groups to join, trying to lean into Substack (I think 1 in every 5 girls below 14th Street has one now, so there’s ample reading material for me), and my Kindle and I continue to have a love-hate relationship.
I enthusiastically talked about A Court of Thorns and Roses last week, but I hate to admit that I’ve hit a wall at around 70% of the way through. I want to buy the box set, but I can’t do that because it would be inauthentic and poser-ish if I don’t read all of them. Maybe it would be motivation, like when I buy something expensive and then push myself to wear it all the time to make up for the cost-per-wear theory girls across the world follow religiously. Everyone has told me it’s amazing, so I will keep reading it and I am committed to finishing it. Writing this actually motivated me to make good progress tonight before bed. I have a very serious Goodreads goal of 25 books this year, and I’m three-over halfway, which is great timing for August.
Even more serious than my Goodreads goal is my Beli goal of 50 new restaurants, bars, bakeries, or coffee shops in 2024. I came to realize this was going to be light work around April, and I’m already at 46. If there’s anywhere in NYC I absolutely need to try, let me know. You can reference my list here and also follow me on Beli (I promise I’m active and it’ll be worth your while). Right now, I’m trying to make this harder for myself by putting places in Brooklyn and Queens on my hit list, so I’ll have more to recommend for everyone shortly.
This is the first post in a while where I didn’t mention fashion at all. In my endless quest to be someone that people turn to in that domain, I realized that I was beating myself up over not being as good as some of the writers I admire, or not coming up with hotter takes, or not dishing out the best hidden gems. It feels good to write about my endless stream of consciousness without worrying about finding the perfect Prada Kitten Heel for you guys to buy from The Real Real for under $100. But also, more on that next week.